I find this sleepy/not-sleepy feeling annoying. Awakened by bursts from this brain of mine. So, laying here listening to the gentlest of rainfall, I feel somewhat peaceful. And fatigued. And then there’s still the buzz of my active brain, rattling out randomness. When I hear the rain, though, slowly dripping from the firs onto my roof, forming tiny rivulets down to the earth, tranquility gets pulled from my core. This speaks to spaces deep within me. Reaching the better parts of my childhood, my youth here, listening to water flow across cedar shakes. Connecting to deep childhood moments of quiet security, of the moments of parental love and safety, deep, internal warmth, this overactive mind calms. And I feel, yet again, richly blessed.
Category: Meditations
This foggy day
This morning’s fog set the day’s mood: unfocused, hazy and unclear. From the magnificent effort to get out the door only slightly late, to my scatterbrained workday, to my poorly executed, overly messy dinner; the day was a solid loss. Yet I don’t lament a thing. Spent time with good friends, had some laughs, and no one was hurt for all the flailing about.
I’m sure losing this weekend to the germs didn’t help. Sunday worse than Saturday, but much better by early evening. Still, this morning I was pretty sluggish. And I never really perked up throughout the day. The early afternoon found me struggling to stay awake. I’m guessing the residuals of the daylight savings time brutality added to the days roughness.
Now I sit, mental fog creeping over me, intro my bones. Slowly, sleep’s demands drag me into the different depths of myself. And so ends this day.
Youth
I delight in the youth surrounding me.
My mind and my heart stretched even greater.
Perhaps, someday, it shall encompass
The whole world.
Ruminations from my walk
I’ve long adored my walks. A magnificent way to get exercise and explore a community. Walking today in this place I’ve spent most of my life had deeper meaning than most. I reflected on my friends, on several issues I care deeply about, and on how this area is both the same yet different.
Also, I listened to the birds, looking at the flowers. I considered communication. How much information is being transferred. Dangers, sexual availability, food presence, territorial marking, all that and more, in these pretty sights and sounds floating across the air. Simultaneously. Really, when considered in this context, a late spring day is laden with data.
Such are the things that concern my mind. I hope each of you had an equally enjoyable day.
Sunny Daze
Days like today are true gems here. It was truly a delight to completely avoid shoes. Though the weather was a bit too cold yet for shorts, I refused to let that deter me. My need for vitamin D was simply too great. An ideal, for me at least, a day with sunshine and freedom. Very close to Zen mastery, my delight somewhat meditative. Bob Marley runs through my head, and I know “Every Little Thing’s Gonna Be Alright”. I feel very calm and centered. Life, truly, blessedly peaceful.
Via BlackBerry
My Challenge
I struggle with competing visions. There is a sense of me as counter-cultural, standing against the wretched excesses of the prevalent culture. Against that, though, is an appreciation of life’s finer things. This dichotomy is painful at times. Finding myself staring wistfully at the latest Mercedes sometimes frustrates me.
Perhaps I misunderstand myself. Could I earn such things without exploitation? I believe it not only true, but that many have already done so. Finding the “win-win”, this place that rewards both sides of the equation. That, truly, is innovative.
Via BlackBerry
Saturday Thoughts
Perhaps you would think that being unemployed leaves me with heaps of free-time. You would be mistaken. My days are extremely full. And I was filled with all kinds of ideas, like being able to catch up on my reading, maybe even digesting the daily paper. Ha! I have been mildly frustrated by this, but no more. Fortunately, I do a good job of keeping track of my time, so I don’t end up wondering where the day went.
I love mornings like this, though, where everyone else is still tucked safely away in bed and I’m able to enjoy quiet. Now, if you excuse me, I’m diving back into Scoble & Israel’s “Naked Conversations”, which has been long on my “to read” list. Getting some good insights into blogging’s potential, even though the book was published back in 2006. Much of their basic premise, though, I’ve long agreed with. These notions of transparency and anti-marketing/anti-hype, in particular. I’ve long believed that our ability to filter this stuff has grown, and that the most prevalent response to most marketing is simple annoyance. Or, perhaps, extreme annoyance. Anyway, the long-term affects are this general sense of distrust of “business”. And so many executives are surprised by this tendency to assume the worst of any company in the news.
Via BlackBerry
Springtime Anew
Darkness, blue-black, embraces all I see. Everything outside wall-and-window’s bounds blurred, buried within inky thickness; familiar now mystery. Robin’s call pierces, a gentle fanfare for spring. Sunlight slowly blues the black, each moment fades mystery; familiar rediscovered. Black fades, now semi-violet blue, change imperceptible. My eyes close briefly, patiently. Light’s change now clear. Slowly, gently births this day.